Hustling is Always Better When the Sun Goes Down

Most people spend less time and money on a meal for lunch than for dinner. People usually try to grab a burger and a soda quickly to be back on the road in a half hour or so. However, during dinner hours most patrons enjoy a nice glass of wine, some appetizers, and a nice entrée. Servers understand that dinner shifts are usually more profitable simply because people are hanging out longer and their checks are higher. However, many patrons forget that the 20% tipping standard is still expected during their quick lunch.

It’s almost amazing to see how the 10-15% average during lunch quickly changes as the dinner rush starts walking in at 5 o’clock. I understand that people just aren’t willing to empty out their wallets to have a quick lunch, however the tipping standard remains. Whether it is lunch or dinner, patrons are still privileged with a nice server waiting on their every want and need.

What is most frustrating about these poor tipping hours is that these are usual shifts when servers are working the hardest. Breakfast and lunch tables turn over quickly. The food is very quick to cook and the drinks are quick to pour. Additionally, the condiment run-around is usually greater during these hours because people are more likely going to want ketchup, mustard, mayo, relish, etc. when they’re eating a sandwich than when they order a steak.

Patrons need to realize that servers are working harder and getting paid almost half as much as they would if their shifts started later in the evening. Just remember, 20% tipping is always expected no matter what the order or time of day.

When Grandma Leaves the Kitchen

Getting older isn’t usually fun. Who wouldn’t be cranky with constant back pain, a cane or walker to get across the room, or a hearing aide that isn’t loud enough? We all have those days when we want to just skip the hospitalities and just get to the point of the conversation. We all have those moments when we want to snap on someone even when they don’t deserve it. Unfortunately, most of the elderly patrons that we deal with are having one of those days.

This isn’t a post meant to complain about grandpa at table 5 with the fries that are just too salty or Aunt Ida at the host stand who is demanding the heat be turned up in the already 90 degree restaurant. This post is meant to provide a little advice for dealing with grandpa and Aunt Ida because I’d be the first one to tell you that waiting on a cranky patron is almost as bad as throwing yourself in front of a truck. Fortunately, it doesn’t need to be that bad.

Frankly, many elderly patrons live on a very budgeted income. Many feel as though $5 is a standard tip for everything. However, this tipping standard can be broken and you can still try to make the hour or so that they are in your section less painful.

Politeness is always key. Try to imagine that you’re selling yourself to Aunt Ida because she has a great grandson that she’d love for you to date. Making a great first impression to a “future in-law” is always of utmost importance and it helps dear Aunt Ida to remember that you are an actual person and not a robot that brings her coffee.

As many servers know, hungry customers are like fiery dragons. They often forget that food needs time to cook and their servers are not the cooks. Instead of letting them sit there and simmer in a cranky, hungry void, keep them updated on the status of their meals. For example, “Ladies, you’re food will be up in a few more minutes. Our chef is taking them out of the broiler now.” Try to put them on an imaginary ride through the kitchen so they can “see” their food cook. This way they can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that you (or the real cook) did not forget about their precious burger.

One last tip: speak up. Many elderly folks are hard of hearing. You may feel as though you’re yelling but they would greatly appreciate it.

Be sure to log in for my next post about the great tipping difference between lunch and dinner.

Bottles, Babies, and Sugar Packets.

Children are the seeds of our future. They also may serve to cause utter destruction in any dining facility they enter. Some servers shudder when they get a table full of children scribbling on placemats with their crayons. Others—myself included—just want to clock out and squish their cute little faces for the rest of the night. Either side of the spectrum still has to do their jobs.

On occasion, there are those parents that don’t want to watch or discipline their kids. Their children leave a whirlwind of mess: spilled peppershakers, exploding sugar packets, mash potatoes underneath seats, and ripped paper everywhere. If you don’t let your kids make such a mess in your own home, don’t let them do it in someone else’s house. Even though you don’t have to clean it up, we do! If your kids must leave a mess, consider leaving a bigger tip for the extensive mess you’re leaving behind.

I cannot stress enough to keep your children at the table with you. It is dangerous for them to wander around the restaurant alone. Servers are constantly running everywhere with heavy plates of food and drink. We’re not looking at our feet for a three year old to come running around the corner. I have seen some painful accidents when a baby gets a tray of hot coffee dropped on it, etc. Keep your kids safe—don’t leave them unattended.

A little advice for servers: don’t ignore the kids at your tables. If the kids like you, the parents like you. When the kids think that you are friendly and are concerned about them, they will try to behave a little better because they want you to continue to accept them. Personally, when I first greet a table the kid is the center of attention. “Oh! You are such a handsome young man! What can I get you, honey? Do you like chocolate milk?” This also scores brownie points with the parents because everyone likes it when someone comments on how gorgeous their kids are.

Happy kids=happy parents=BIG TIP.

Be sure to log in for my next post about the opposite end of the spectrum: grandmas and grandpas.

Fun in the Sun.

Outside seating is a great way for patrons to really enjoy their meal during a nice, sunny day. I’ve worked at a few restaurants that offered outside seating and I have found that this portion of a restaurant is a great way to attract customers and make money. Many servers try to treat this section as any other part of the restaurant—another area with tables and chairs for people to eat and drink at. However, outside seating can be a whole other animal onto itself.

My favorite part of outside seating is when some of my customers bring along their four-legged friend for lunch. I’m a HUGE animal lover and having the opportunity to play with a playful puppy during my mundane work shift is a stroke of luck. Servers should keep in mind that if the dog is happy than their owners are happy. Bring the pup a bowl of water and ask his or her owner if there is anything you could offer it for lunch also.

The major problem with outside seating is one of the things I have highlighted in my 10 Ten Most Annoying Things list: Self-seating. Like I have said before, tables may be reserved, there may be cover counts for servers, etc. Take the extra two minutes to go to the host and ask for a table outside. Pissing off your server before she even comes to greet you is not a good way to start off lunch. Additionally, I will have some patrons who decide that they are going to rearrange the outside seating area and try to bring chairs from inside outside. A lot of establishments can only have a certain amount of chairs and tables in a certain area before it becomes a fire hazard. Don’t get mad if a manager pops out and starts bringing chairs back in. It’s not cool to put the restaurant you like to frequent at risk for fines or worse because you’ve made yourself too at home.

Finally, let’s consider the weather. On occasion there will be that odd couple that want to sit outside in 100-degree heat with 100% humidity and expect to get waited on. I’ve also had people sit outside while it was snowing out and try to order a beer. Although you may have an exceptional tolerance to extreme weather, most of us do not. Don’t expect to subject another person to increment weather just to bring you a burger. Remember: be courteous, we’re people too.

Be sure to log on for my next post about dining out with the little rug rats.

Every Server's Top 10 List of Annoying Things Customers Do Cont'd.

Remember that Top 10 List of Annoying Customer Habits?

(1) Customers seating themselves.

(2) Customers rearranging the dining room.

(3) Customers being crappy tippers.

(4) Customers asking for separate checks AFTER their meal.

(5) Customers acting like pigs.

 Here’s the rest:

(6) Customers complaining just for a free meal.

This is tacky and disgusting on every level. I once had a woman bring crushed glass in a zip-lock bag and put it in her tuna fish sandwich. She brought this to my attention saying that she found glass in her food. There wasn’t any glass anywhere in the kitchen. After she got the meal discounted and left, we discovered the empty zip-lock bag with shards of glass. Of course, I didn’t get a tip for dealing with the little panic she cause the restaurant staff. If you can’t afford it or don’t want to pay for it, then don’t buy it.

(7) Customers being late for reservations.

We may have reservations after you. We may be holding a table and keeping a server from making money waiting for you. Don’t be late for reservations. If you’re going to, give us a call and let us know.

(8) Customers forgetting to bathe.

This is obvious. No one wants to smell someone who has the stench of death. Take a bath.

(9) Customers who don’t watch their kids.

This is a restaurant—not a baby sitter. We’re often running around with hot food, trays, and heavy plates. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tripped over kids wandering around the restaurant, seen kids get hot food spilled on them by accident, or otherwise hurt because their parents let them roam free in the restaurant. Keep your kids with you. You may be having a relaxing meal but the environment is really a dangerous warzone.

(10) Customers who are rude.

It never fails to shock me about how rude some people really are. Many times we will have customers that think that a server is a robot or slave that they can practically spit on. I realize that if we were to see these same people on the street, they would probably not speak to us the way that they do when we are their servers. Just because we don’t say anything when you’re acting like a real ass, doesn’t mean that we’re not ready to knock you out of your chair. Just remember: if and when you do see us on the street and not at our place of income, we’re going to give you back what you dumped on us. :]

Be sure to log in for my next post for a discussion of the horrors and wonders of outside seating.

Every Server's Top 10 List of Annoying Things Customers Do. #1-5

Everyone goes out to eat and drink at some point in their lives. And some lucky or unfortunate server has to wait on them. Yup, so at some point we all have to take the order of a person who is either dumb, smelly, rude, obnoxious, nervous, hungry, angry, self-centered, or all of the above. Although there are plenty of people that we are more than happy to wait on who are courteous, polite, well mannered, clean, and appropriate, those people are not what this post is focused on.

We’ve had this ongoing list at my job that we have been adding too for a few months now. It is an extensive list of the annoying and sometimes shocking things that customers do quite often that every one in this industry hates. I’ve decided to condense this list into the Top 10 things that I think are universally annoying to every server, bartender, hostess, etc. Below is the first half of that list. Check out my next post for 5-10.

(1) Customers seating themselves.

Customers need to understand that we are not all hawking the dining room, patio, bar, etc. for someone to grace one of its chairs with their rear ends. We’re either at the host stand, in the server station, in the kitchen doing side work, etc. Also we have certain sections and “cover” counts that ensure that every server gets an equal amount of tables. There may also be reserved sections. Just be courteous. You don’t walk into someone’s house and sit your butt down anywhere you’d like. Same goes for someone’s business. Let us know you’re here.

(2) Customers rearranging the dining room.

Like I mentioned earlier, there might be some tables that are reserved or different sections for different servers. Rearranging and taking chairs from tables to fit your growing party may be interfering with the system already in place. The world or this business doesn’t revolve around you. If you know that you are going to have a big group or that people will be joining your party, let us know so we can accommodate you. Don’t impose your rudeness on us.

(3) Customers being crappy tippers.

Check out my previous blog post about tipping.

(4) Customers asking for separate checks AFTER their meal.

Almost every server hates having to do separate checks. Most of the time this really hurts our tips because now everyone can be a cheapskate and no one else in the group really has to know. However, if we have to do it tell us that you want separate checks before we take any order from the table—including drinks. A lot of times the computer systems are outdated or can’t be updated once the order is placed. If we are to accurately document who had what, we need to know what you guys want. Also, most of the orders are placed in the system and on your eventual check by the seat you are sitting in. Don’t play musical chairs.

(5) Customers acting like pigs.

If you don’t put your feet on the table, throw trash on the floor, or act like a pig at your house than don’t come into a restaurant and decide that’s when you want to be disgusting. Someone has to clean up the mess you leave and you’ll only accomplish looking like a slob. We have our own houses to clean. Don’t come and dirty it up.

Be sure to log on next week for the final half of Top 10 Things that Every Server Finds Annoying.

Bottoms Up and Another Round.

The drunk and disorderlies. Ahh, I don’t think there’s anything I love more than seeing a big group of people sitting down at one of my tables determined to get completely wasted. Why do I love this scenario so much? Booze is expensive. That means that their check is going to be fat. That means my tip is going to be fat. Plus, since most restaurants add mandatory gratuity to larger parties I can’t lose.

Many rookies in this business often get nervous when they have to deal with a group of drinkers. If they are like me they are only familiar with a select few types of beer, wine, and liquor. Here’s a tip: never offer house anything. It’s cheap and it usually makes people sicker quicker (and you want them to keep on drinking!) Know two high-end types of vodka, gin, whiskey, rum, etc. That way if someone says, “I’ll have a vodka tonic.” You can reply, “Grey Goose or Kettle One?” Either option will increase the price on the check and you’ve eliminated the horrid reply of: “I’ll just take the house.” But what if they request the house liquor? I, personally, am all about peer pressure and all about telling people what to do. If the group seems friendly and outgoing, I usually will make some disgusted look and say, “Really? House? That’s so gross. You’re going to get sick fast drinking that. How about Absolut?” Usually they just agree and drink what I say.

Peer pressure works after they start to get saucy. I once had a group of guys that were getting particularly toasty. One of them ordered a Corona. I looked at him and said, “A Corona? That’s a girly drink! Your boys are lapping you over here and you want a Corona? I’m bringing you a Long Island.” Men don’t want to look less adequate to their peers. He drank the Long Island. I ended up getting those guys to hike their bill up to close to $500 and grated them. That was the night I learned about credit card roulette.

After I dropped the check, two of the boys came to me and said that they were all going to give me their credit cards and I was to “randomly” pick a card and charge the entire check to it. Then the boys each tipped me $20 to pull a particular card. Yes, they were cheating. Not my problem.

Of course I do not condone excessive drinking. When you are waiting on someone who seems to be above the limit you should cut him off from the alcohol. It is important to be aware of when someone seems to be diving too far and start reining them back in. Keep bringing water!

Also, don’t be afraid to put a customer in his place. When alcohol is flowing their tongues and hands get loose. If you ever feel uncomfortable, do not be afraid to grab a manager or a bouncer to keep things from getting out of hand. After all, you’re just the server.

Be sure to log in next week for Every Server’s Top 10 List of Annoying Things Customers Do.

If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen.

Servers and the cooks they work with are usually on the fine line between tearing each other’s faces off or laughing about the latest episode of restaurant disaster. Much of this is because many of the people we are serving this food to will tip us as though we actually cook their dinner. As though we take your order then run into the kitchen, throw on an apron, and cook up a little feast. We quickly rip our aprons off and bring the meal we just slaved over to the table for some hungry customers.

Fortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

Only a few weeks ago, I was resetting the dining room when an elderly patron (whom I wasn’t the waitress for either) started screaming across the restaurant, “Miss! Miss! WHAT’S GOING ON? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO COOK MY FOOD?!” After taking a moment to calm myself from this man’s brazen rudeness, I politely told him I would go check and ran to the kitchen. At the time the restaurant was very busy and our cooks were slammed in the kitchen with dozen of tickets hanging in their window. I’m sure my co-worker received a skimpy tip from this man because my fabulous cooks would rather serve him a cooked piece of chicken over something that was still raw and squawking.

Unfortunately, the cooks will never be fast enough for a hungry patron. Knowing that our livelihood often depends on how timely and tastefully the kitchen spits out our orders, servers and cooks butt heads because servers are rushing cooks to make something that just can’t be made any quicker.

That’s why the kitchen is often the great battleground in the restaurant industry. Food and harsh words are flying until everyone gets what they want: servers get fed customers and cooks get an empty kitchen.

So what should we take away from all this? Our jobs are all equally important in creating a fully functional restaurant. Patrons need to realize that although the server is the only person they can voice any complaint to; the server is only but a messenger. He or she did not overcook your steak, take too long frying your onion rings, or force you to go all day without eating so you’re a crazy psycho to the next person you see. However, since we didn’t cook your food we won’t be offended if you don’t like it. Most of us will be more than happy to fix it or get you something else. I know I personally would rather my customers enjoying their meals instead of forcing down a piece of leather. That is more or less all we can do. Please don’t take your frustration out in our tips—it was the kitchen’s fault after all. (Ha-ha I love passing the blame on!)

          Stay tuned for my next post about my favorite and most hated drunken customers ever.

A Tip on Tipping.

So why is tipping important? Many people who don’t work in the restaurant industry assume that servers and bartenders make hourly wages. We don’t. Most of us get paid roughly around $2 an hour before taxes. In all actuality, our livelihoods depend on the generosity of the people we wait on and the amount of people who sit in our sections.

When you go out to a restaurant, bar, club, etc., the proper amount to tip is 20% of your bill. Also keep in mind that when you get discounts, coupons, hooked up, etc. the server isn’t seeing any of that. It is important that you tip your server 20% of what the bill had been before the discounts were applied.

Of course none of us are math geniuses (yours truly included). However, there is a very simple way to quickly calculate 20%. Take the first digit of your bill and multiply it by 2. The sum is the amount that you should tip. For example, if you have a $40 bill you would take the number 4 (your first digit) and multiply it by 2. The sum is 8. So you would tip your server $8 on a $40 check.

Oprah recently gave some “wonderful” recession advice to her viewers. She suggested that since it’s a recession you could still go out and eat! How, Oprah? By tipping your servers only 10%!

If you want to be a cheapskate, go to McDonald’s. You don’t have to tip there and you can still get a very filling meal. However, if you expect someone to bring you everything you wish, clean up after you, and smile and be polite when you’re making commands of them, then you should expect to pay them for having to do it. Many of us in the industry are from all walks of life. We have mouths to feed and bills today. Unfortunately, this line of work does not provide a paycheck or benefits.

Keep in mind that servers talk. If you go into your favorite establishment and leave a crappy tip, every employee there knows you and knows you aren’t worth the time to provide good service to. Plus, if you’ve ever seen the move Waiting than you know that you shouldn’t mess around with the people who deal with your food and drink.

I have had quite a few people assume that being exceptionally nice makes up for the tip they won’t give me. You’re smiles and charm won’t put groceries in my fridge or gas in my car. I also have had a few customers that have decided to leave God as a tip. God? Well, God in the form of a brochure or crochet cross. I hate to say it but I don’t think Jesus is going to be helping me pay my rent any time soon.

I’m sure we’ll be revisiting this topic down the road. After all, this is The Angry Waitress and getting ripped off will definitely make a waitress angry. Be sure to log in for my upcoming blog about us against the kitchen: the final frontier.

What It's All About

After growing up watching my father run a successful restaurant and working in a variety of different restaurants, I have decided to share my many experiences in the hospitality industry with other industry workers and patrons. We all have great stories to share from catastrophes in the server station and kitchen, to crazy managers, and about the mind-numbing customers that we must interact with every time we clock into work.

I have worked in the average dive diners in Jersey, country steak houses, franchises, neighborhood grills, and fancy bistros. Although the type of clientele and products are different and unique in each business, the stories are much the same: people will blow your mind when you least expect it.

With this blog I hope to share some of my funniest experiences (like the drunk patron who decided to use the wall in the bar as his personal urinal), my most frustrating experiences (like the woman who crushed glass in her tuna salad to get a free meal), and some of my most heart-warming experiences (like the little girl who couldn’t stay with her parents and insisted on following me around the restaurant because I made her feel pretty).

I also hope to shed light about this industry to people who have never worked in it. For example, if you want good service and to be a decent human being, tip your server the appropriate 18-20% when you go out to eat. It is important to remember that your server, bartender, and host are actual people—not robots—and they do handle the food and drink you are about to consume.

I also would love to hear some of your experiences as well. We all know that in order to survive in this business you have to keep a sense of humor and not hold grudges. The people who work in this industry voluntarily allow themselves to be doormats to whoever sits in their sections and sometimes it is hard to remember that there is good in people—just not when they’re hungry.

Be sure to log in soon for my upcoming blog post about my best and worst tippers, how Oprah made it harder for servers to pay their rents, and my guide to tipping and why it’s important.