Bottoms Up and Another Round.

The drunk and disorderlies. Ahh, I don’t think there’s anything I love more than seeing a big group of people sitting down at one of my tables determined to get completely wasted. Why do I love this scenario so much? Booze is expensive. That means that their check is going to be fat. That means my tip is going to be fat. Plus, since most restaurants add mandatory gratuity to larger parties I can’t lose.

Many rookies in this business often get nervous when they have to deal with a group of drinkers. If they are like me they are only familiar with a select few types of beer, wine, and liquor. Here’s a tip: never offer house anything. It’s cheap and it usually makes people sicker quicker (and you want them to keep on drinking!) Know two high-end types of vodka, gin, whiskey, rum, etc. That way if someone says, “I’ll have a vodka tonic.” You can reply, “Grey Goose or Kettle One?” Either option will increase the price on the check and you’ve eliminated the horrid reply of: “I’ll just take the house.” But what if they request the house liquor? I, personally, am all about peer pressure and all about telling people what to do. If the group seems friendly and outgoing, I usually will make some disgusted look and say, “Really? House? That’s so gross. You’re going to get sick fast drinking that. How about Absolut?” Usually they just agree and drink what I say.

Peer pressure works after they start to get saucy. I once had a group of guys that were getting particularly toasty. One of them ordered a Corona. I looked at him and said, “A Corona? That’s a girly drink! Your boys are lapping you over here and you want a Corona? I’m bringing you a Long Island.” Men don’t want to look less adequate to their peers. He drank the Long Island. I ended up getting those guys to hike their bill up to close to $500 and grated them. That was the night I learned about credit card roulette.

After I dropped the check, two of the boys came to me and said that they were all going to give me their credit cards and I was to “randomly” pick a card and charge the entire check to it. Then the boys each tipped me $20 to pull a particular card. Yes, they were cheating. Not my problem.

Of course I do not condone excessive drinking. When you are waiting on someone who seems to be above the limit you should cut him off from the alcohol. It is important to be aware of when someone seems to be diving too far and start reining them back in. Keep bringing water!

Also, don’t be afraid to put a customer in his place. When alcohol is flowing their tongues and hands get loose. If you ever feel uncomfortable, do not be afraid to grab a manager or a bouncer to keep things from getting out of hand. After all, you’re just the server.

Be sure to log in next week for Every Server’s Top 10 List of Annoying Things Customers Do.